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Posted on 17:02

ToddorTommy Rides Again, Derby Virgins FAQ

Filed Under (,) By ToddorTommy.com at 17:02

I'm happy to announce that toddortommy.com is back (again), hopefully the blog format will be both easier to update and easier to read. Not to mention cheaper. Still working out some of the technical issues with connecting to the old URL but give it a month and it will be back. For now, we've got Picnic Day in our rearview and Derby on the immediate horizon. This year it's Tommy plus three Derby virgins. As part of their intense preparation for the trip, the following Derby virgins FAQ was provided.

What do I need to pack?

In terms of clothes, Derby (at least the style we'll do it in) is definitely a casual weekend - the real start of summer. There are a couple bars in one nightlife area that might have an issue if you aren't wearing shoes (and admittedly, with the number of people there I would recommend shoes), but this is definitely not the place for blazers and Vegas-like clubbing wear. Bring on the popped collars and khaki shorts, just like the rest of the southern college kids!For race day, I do recommend bringing a light rain jacket of some kind in case we get cool and/or sprinkly weather; if the forecast is for rain, it will still probably be warm but it will be VERY sloppy, to the point that it doesn't even make sense to bring a jacket, only clothes that you can leave in Kentucky. And of course don't forget your fancy hat with all the flowers that you spent a few hundred dollars on and brought in a hat box all the way from Californie.

How do we get into the race? Where will we sit?

Unlike the landed gentry who will be occupying the grandstands, we'll be in the heart of all drunken action - the infield. All we have to do is pay $40 cash at the gate, get strip-searched, and we're in; there are no assigned seats - it's first come, first served. As long as we get to the track by noon we should be able to find a spot - obviously the earlier we get there, the better our spot will be. And the place to be every year is the 3rd turn, the notoriously non-family friendly section. We'll claim our spot by throwing down a tarp (purchased as part of the Indianapolis-Louisville Cannonball Run on Thursday afternoon). If we're lucky we'll be sandwiched between a beer cart and a bachelorette party. Even with admission to the infield, we can still walk around the grandstand area, head to the betting windows, see the horses pre-race, etc. The key is to get there and claim a spot with our tarp so we can be free to wander as needed. There are 11 races on Derby day, the Derby is the tenth race.

What else are we going to do other than go to the Derby?

Derby weekend is a big-ass party. Bring your drinking shoes, drinking hat, whatever else you need to subsist on a liquid diet for 3 days. Of course most of the big partying is done in the evening, so that leaves Friday daytime to whatever sounds interesting - Waffle House, Louisville Slugger museum, the pre-Derby race known as the Kentucky Oaks, minor league baseball (Reds' AAA), the local Wal-Mart (very entertaining), and if we're really lucky like we were that one year, a barefoot & pregnant stripper eating a single BBQ rib with her bare hands (while asking for a lap dance) - now if that doesn't get you fired up, I don't know what will.

What is the biggest pain in the ass about Derby weekend?

Definitely transportation. Taxis are in very short supply, in fact many enterprising Louisville-ians just drive around in minivans and offer rides for $20, $40, whatever; I'm sure we'll have the pleasure of that experience at least once. The good news is, getting between the track and our hotel is very easy, buses to the track leave from across the street. It's just getting back and forth between the hotel & the nightlife spots that can be challenging (assuming said nightlife spots do not include the RVs parked in the vicinity of the track).

And, in honor of one of history's greatest toddortommy all-stars, here's a quick pic from Derby past: